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Poor old Gandalf
Apr. 27th, 2010 08:07 pmBecause, one way or another, I'm still no better than the rest of them, I am watching the Fellowship of the Ring. There is a slightly ambiguous moment in that movie, and I had questions, so knowing how the Internet is, I thought I'd search for my question, and I found it asked by a little girl. I will turn you over to the blogger from renowned keep-fit site bodyforwife.com
"Recently we were watching the extenda-dance-mix version of The Fellowship of the Ring. My 10-year-old son had already seen it, but it was the first time for eight-year-old daughter. We were watching the scene where Gandalf was battling the badass Balrog in the Mines of Moria on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm.
You know how it goes: Gandalf makes the bridge collapse and the Balrog goes down, but being that the Balrog is a creature of shadow then that automatically makes him an asshole, so he lashes out with his whip and gets Gandalf by the leg in an effort to take his adversary with him. Gandalf is left grasping the edge, unable to pull himself up because he’s too weary from battle and they don’t have Geritol on Middle Earth.
Frodo gets the typical “NO!” freaked out look on his face and tries to rush to save Gandalf, but Boromir holds him back.
Gandalf falls, and probably breaks a hip.
My daughter is devastated because Gandalf reminds her of Santa Claus. “Why did Boromir stop him? Frodo could have helped Gandalf.”
“Well, Sweetie,” I said, trying to assuage her dismay and at the same time not give away that Gandalf was actually okay and all the nice and important people in the movie don’t die, while the bad people all do die, “Frodo is the most important person in the group because he’s carrying the ring, and Boromir knew that Frodo could have fallen too, and then there would be no one to carry the ring to the fires of Mordor, and then all the good people would die, because the ring is bad.”
“Then why didn’t Boromir go and save Gandalf instead?” she asked.
“Well, duh,” my son piped in. “It’s because Boromir’s a dick.”
“What did you say?” my wife interjected.
“Boromir’s not a dick,” my daughter said.
At this point I’m too busy laughing to back my wife up on the apparent “no calling people dicks rule” we now have in our house.
“Yes he is,” said my son. “That’s why he tries to steal the ring from Frodo.”
“You’re not supposed to give away the movie!” my daughter yells.
We ended up having to pause the movie at that point. They were still bitching at each other about it at bed time. Almost an hour after we had them tucked in I could hear them whispering to each other down the hall: “Boromir’s a dick,” my son said.
“No he’s not,” came the whispered reply.
“Is too. And Sam is gay.”"
"Recently we were watching the extenda-dance-mix version of The Fellowship of the Ring. My 10-year-old son had already seen it, but it was the first time for eight-year-old daughter. We were watching the scene where Gandalf was battling the badass Balrog in the Mines of Moria on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm.
You know how it goes: Gandalf makes the bridge collapse and the Balrog goes down, but being that the Balrog is a creature of shadow then that automatically makes him an asshole, so he lashes out with his whip and gets Gandalf by the leg in an effort to take his adversary with him. Gandalf is left grasping the edge, unable to pull himself up because he’s too weary from battle and they don’t have Geritol on Middle Earth.
Frodo gets the typical “NO!” freaked out look on his face and tries to rush to save Gandalf, but Boromir holds him back.
Gandalf falls, and probably breaks a hip.
My daughter is devastated because Gandalf reminds her of Santa Claus. “Why did Boromir stop him? Frodo could have helped Gandalf.”
“Well, Sweetie,” I said, trying to assuage her dismay and at the same time not give away that Gandalf was actually okay and all the nice and important people in the movie don’t die, while the bad people all do die, “Frodo is the most important person in the group because he’s carrying the ring, and Boromir knew that Frodo could have fallen too, and then there would be no one to carry the ring to the fires of Mordor, and then all the good people would die, because the ring is bad.”
“Then why didn’t Boromir go and save Gandalf instead?” she asked.
“Well, duh,” my son piped in. “It’s because Boromir’s a dick.”
“What did you say?” my wife interjected.
“Boromir’s not a dick,” my daughter said.
At this point I’m too busy laughing to back my wife up on the apparent “no calling people dicks rule” we now have in our house.
“Yes he is,” said my son. “That’s why he tries to steal the ring from Frodo.”
“You’re not supposed to give away the movie!” my daughter yells.
We ended up having to pause the movie at that point. They were still bitching at each other about it at bed time. Almost an hour after we had them tucked in I could hear them whispering to each other down the hall: “Boromir’s a dick,” my son said.
“No he’s not,” came the whispered reply.
“Is too. And Sam is gay.”"
